Beliefs and the Binding of Anxiety

Bowen theory talks about the “binding” of anxiety, and the varied things we use as “anxiety binders.” Relationships are often our most important “anxiety binders,” along with drugs (tranquilizers, alcohol, illegal drugs), personality traits (obsessiveness, passivity, aggressiveness, perfectionism, etc.), and – yes – beliefs.

I think that a belief can be used to bind anxiety in three different ways:

1.    First, a belief itself can bind anxiety. For example, a mother whose young child has died can say (and think), “God needed another angel.” This belief can help her handle the anxiety around the loss of her child.

2.    Second, a belief can support a relationship which binds anxiety. For example, a person can adopt the same religious belief as a future spouse and join the same church. In this case, the content of a new belief posture is not what binds anxiety. Rather, the relationship with the new spouse can be an anxiety binder, and shared beliefs can support togetherness in that relationship.

3.    Third, a belief can support a relationship pattern which binds anxiety. I refer here to the automatic patterns observed by Bowen in family and other relationships (distance, mutual adaptation, conflict, projection, over/underfunctioning, cut-off). For example, a person can adopt a belief contrary to that of their family at the same time that there is increased distance between them and their family. The contrary belief may function to support the more distant posture. Or a minister could adopt a new theology of pastoral care which supports a more distant posture vis-à-vis members, or a new theology of leadership which supports an overfunctioning stance. In such cases, it’s the distance or the overfunctioning which is the anxiety binder, with the new beliefs supporting those patterns.